The very word "college" gives me far off visions of a world where bedrooms are replaced by "the dorm". At this magical place, teachers no longer teach you things, but professors profess their views on physiology, psychology, sociology, biology, and numerous other topics that also flaunt the suffix "-ology". As if that isn't confusing enough, they recycle the terms "freshmen, sophmore, junior, and senior" from highschool. This reincarnates variations of the following conversation throughout all of highschool and college:
Stranger: "So how far along are you in school?"
Poor Victimized College-Goer: "I'm a sophmore"
S: "In...highschool?"
PVCG: "Ahh, no, in college."
S: "Ohh...haha, ok..."
Two things result from this conversation. First of all the Stranger is afraid that he's offended the College-Goer. Secondly, the college-goer is offended. Obviously, someone wasn't thinking when they suggested that both highschool and college use the same terms. Who knows how many awkward conversations and needlessly injured feelings blossomed from this negligence? Do they honestly expect you to add "in college" at the end of your sentence every time you proclaim "I'm a freshmen/sophmore/junior/senior?" This, my friends, is nothing more than ruthless victimization of college students. And though I be but a humble highschoolian, I believe in justice for all mankind.
Something needs to be done about this situation.
I suggest a change of names for the four standard years of highschool, leaving college with "freshmen, sophmore, junior, and senior." In the light of not totally confusing everyone, I suggest a simple twist on the original terms such as the following: "newhuman, plushyabundence, aprilior, and sawior". (If you carefully compare these to the originals, you will notice the terribly clever changes I made <insert sneaky wink>)
With these beautiful terms, you could announce with confidence:
"Hello, I happen to be an aprilior just beginning PSEO online."
Now doesn't that just sound better?
Maybe I'm ridiculous, but I feel that there might be a future in this.
S: "Ohh...haha, ok..."
Two things result from this conversation. First of all the Stranger is afraid that he's offended the College-Goer. Secondly, the college-goer is offended. Obviously, someone wasn't thinking when they suggested that both highschool and college use the same terms. Who knows how many awkward conversations and needlessly injured feelings blossomed from this negligence? Do they honestly expect you to add "in college" at the end of your sentence every time you proclaim "I'm a freshmen/sophmore/junior/senior?" This, my friends, is nothing more than ruthless victimization of college students. And though I be but a humble highschoolian, I believe in justice for all mankind.
Something needs to be done about this situation.
I suggest a change of names for the four standard years of highschool, leaving college with "freshmen, sophmore, junior, and senior." In the light of not totally confusing everyone, I suggest a simple twist on the original terms such as the following: "newhuman, plushyabundence, aprilior, and sawior". (If you carefully compare these to the originals, you will notice the terribly clever changes I made <insert sneaky wink>)
With these beautiful terms, you could announce with confidence:
"Hello, I happen to be an aprilior just beginning PSEO online."
Now doesn't that just sound better?
Maybe I'm ridiculous, but I feel that there might be a future in this.
No comments:
Post a Comment