Because of this, when I say that I have words spilling out of me, I don't mean this in an "i'm-gonna-write-a-book-cause-i've-got-so-many-ideas-floating-around-in-my-head" kind of way, nor in an "i'm-about-to-have-a-philosophical-epiphany" kind of way. It's more of a "my-head-is-about-to-split-open-from-the-over-abundance-of-stupid-ideas-thrown-at-me-by-the-rebel-chinchillas-who-run-my-brain" kind of way.
The chinchillas aren't completely evil. They don't always douse me in totally irrelevant information or purposely distract me from the situation at hand, but I think that they're a little over-caffeinated. I enter some new situation, and instead of complacently storing away all the information they collect, they insist upon immediately soaking the poor messenger chinchilla with informational water balloons.
As you can clearly see, my general social incompetence really isn't my fault. The real problem is that my chinchillas overwhelm me with information, and then the messenger chinchilla curls up into a ball because he's wet and sad, and as result, I do the same. The chinchillas ensure that I always have too much to say, and at the same time, absolutely no idea what I'm trying to say. So it's not really ideas, or even concrete feelings, but words, phrases, and fragments of thoughts that are endlessly running around and around. It's simply my furry librarians endlessly reminding me about the current situation, the past situations, myself, and the future.
The worst part is that I can't even stop it. The stupid chinchillas are so set in their ways that no amount of employee training can get them to cease their overabundant water-balloon-throwing ways. I'm forced to relive every social interaction at least 5 times, and I'm only released from the endless playback once I've fully recognized any social misdemeanor that I committed in the situation. But it doesn't end there! No, as soon as I see a person (any person), the chinchillas mentally accost me with every social misstep of mine that said person has ever witnessed. Thus the person begins our conversation whilst I am still helplessly reliving my past slip-ups.
Despite the helplessness of the chinchilla library situation, this post is really an attempt at encouragement. If, like me, you ever feel overwhelmed or annoyed by the magnitude and endlessness of your thoughts, just remember: it's probably not your fault. Most likely, it's simply those darn chinchillas.
