If I ever had any doubts about whether or not I am truly an introvert, I consider myself to have laid such hesitations to rest forever. I've always wondered what my limits are, and now... well, now I know.
I may or may not have had a (minor) emotional breakdown.
It went like this. After writing my final paper on Wednesday, playing for baccalaureate on Thursday, attending the graduation rehearsal, poverty exhibit, and class dinner on Friday, and finally graduating on Saturday (I was verse spokesman and gave a lovely speech about prepositional phrases), I was done.
100% done.
I had been at the church since 8:30, but we didn't leave until 3:30, and then we went to dinner at Red Lobster. Now, I'm not really one to complain about good food, but I was feeling a bit stretched by that point. And by the time my sister stopped at J.C. Penny's on the way home, I was blinking rapidly and hoping that I wouldn't start crying in the underwear section. At 7 pm we finally pulled into the driveway. I looked out my window and what should I see in the backyard but two bouncy houses.
Bouncy houses. Like the big red, yellow and black things that kids jump around in at the county fair.
I stared for a moment, then said, "Why are there bouncy houses in the backyard?"
My sister has known me long enough to know when I'm about to go over the edge. She looked at me, gave me an apologetic smile, and said something about 50s bands.
I took a deep breath through the nose and pursed my lips. Putting my left hand up like a stop sign, I closed my eyes for a moment and said, "Just.... no. I cannot have bouncy houses at my grad party." Then I slipped the leftover Red Lobster bag onto my arm, slung my purse onto my shoulder, and gathered my diploma and hat in my arms. I kicked off my shoes as soon as I was inside, and didn't stop to say hi to Mom in the living room. By the time I had dumped all of my junk on my bedroom floor, I was already crying.
The next thing I knew, the fan was on, I was in sweatpants, and I was curled up on my bed listening to music while scrolling through Pinterest. I continued crying pretty steadily until about 10:30 pm (which was when I feel asleep).
The funny thing is, I didn't really know what I was crying about. At first, it was all about the bouncy houses, but it didn't take long for me to realize exactly how completely and totally ridiculous I was being. But I couldn't stop crying. It didn't matter what I did, I just kept crying and crying and crying.
I was starting to get seriously irritated with myself before I remembered that I'm an introvert. I'd always just sort of thought that if you were an introvert, and you pushed yourself too far, you just got crabby and mean. That's usually about the time when I curl up with my favorite TV show, and 4 episodes later I'm good as new. But I guess if I can't be crabby (and I couldn't last week, since I was doing important stuff), eventually my body is just like, "Okay! Enough! Now we're gonna cry for 3 1/2 hours straight!"
And that's the story of how I had an emotional breakdown the day of my high school graduation, and why I had ugly, puffy, stinging eyes the next day at my graduation party. If Introvert Identification Cards were actually a thing, I think that I've officially demonstrated my introversion enough to earn one.
And in case you were wondering...
Yes, I did end up having two bouncy houses at my graduation party.
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